Can't Look Back
by faerydoll k
Summary: Whenever i hear the rain drops, i get the image of her, crying into her hands. And so goes the story of how Sasuke killed his wife. SasuSaku.


**The Uchiha prodigy_, the sole survivor of the clan, Uchiha Sasuke,_** _how I wished that name would simply disappear. I couldn't even stand the sound of my own name. It was scornful, disgusting and cruel, that is the very thing that comes up to my head whenever someone calls my name._

_I know this is my fault, though she did something wrong too. I'm the one who started it, the reason behind this all. Never in my life I had felt so bitter towards life. I admit my childhood was like hell since my whole clan died but not as horrible as this._

_Things had changed drastically. _

_It's almost three years now since Sakura had left, the beginning of my defeat. Sometimes I wished that I should have died instead of her. That way it wouldn't hurt as to living in a world of deceits._

Can't Look Back

By: ethereal-moonrain

**Prologue**: _The truest lie_

_Dream away everyday_

_Try so hard to disregard_

_The rhythm of the rain that drops_

_And coincides with the beating of my heart_

* * *

He sits there again, alone grieving, while looking down at her. True, it's been almost three years since she died but her face, her body still remained untouched by time, detached from reality.

It's been a long time already, and he knew that well. But still no tears had a chance to escape his eyes . . . And that's why he hated himself so much.

Just cigars and beers accompanied him in this forlorn room. Quite a bad habit that might kill him slowly and painfully, but he deserved it well.

It was very dim and the only light was accented on the middle, the only place where there is ground. The whole room was filled with water and in the middle was her coffin, **_no—_**her bed. It really couldn't be called as a coffin; it was simply a bed, a beautifully designed bed filled with pink flowers that never wilt just like her. Exaggerated but that is the least he could do for her.

The wind chimes on the door suddenly rang and the door opens. Sasuke knew well who it was and didn't bother to look.

"Sasuke, I already told you to stop acting like this. She's dead, and I know it really hurts but don't do this. You still have a life, you still have your family---" at this, she paused for awhile then continued.

"At least, you still have your son, and you still have me . . .we are your—family now."

He didn't even move or reply, he was just there sitting still as if mocking. "Sasuke everyone is expecting you to move on already! Tsunade-sama had even fixed the damage Sakura had made into the west side of the village. Everything she had damaged is already fixed" _but truthfully not on his heart._

"I don't care Ino, I don't care." He finally spoke. She sighed and knew he wouldn't listen to her. "I do hope you remember our vows. We are legally married now, please listened to me sometimes!"

"Shut up YAMANAKA! I have my own brain and I know that very well." He bowed down again gazing to his late ex-wife. "Then why are you avoiding me!?" she retorted. Feeling the pain stretching out her being as her own husband called her by her maiden name.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

There were fat drops of rain playing drumming hums on the street. It was late in the evening and there were no stars at all. The streets too were quite empty besides the two of them.

"Shut up Sakura! I know that very well already, you don't need to scream it on my face!" he was taken a back by his actions, and now he felt miserable looking at her face stained with her tears.

"Look Sakura, I'm sorry for bursting out like that. I'm sorry. Its not that I'm angry towards you I just--"

"_**You just what!? Ashamed of me!?" **_

"_**No, I'm not ashamed at you." He tried soothing her. "Let's get inside, you're going to be sick staying this long in the rain.**_

"Don't lie to me Sasuke! I know you're mad at me for having one of our children die! I-I'm really sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"_**Will you stop apologizing?! It is NOT your fault." **_

"_**It is! I—if only I'm strong enough. I could have both of our kids! I'm sorry if I'm too weak to give birth to the second child. I'm sorry."**_

_**It's been always like this after Sakura gave birth to her twins. The both fight with each other. And she kept blaming herself for not being able to let the second one live. **_

"_**I told you many times! Stop apologizing! Because I'm not mad at you okay? It's not your fault!"**_

"_**Then why are you avoiding me?" and that simple words struck him hard. Really why? He doesn't know the answer himself. He was scared to even think about the answer.**_

_**END of FLASHBACK**_

* * *

****

He turns around to look at her but she already left. And he was all-alone by himself again. Tortured by the voices echoing on his mind.

_Sorry for having killed his own wife._

_While there she is, also mourning. Ino was married to Sasuke in almost a year now. Each day she will find herself crying while on their bed, but actually just her bed. _

_He doesn't sleep with her nor treat her as his wife, sometimes he will go to bed with her but she would just only face his back. _

_There were so many things she wanted to tell him but can't find a time to do so. She was always trying hard to fill in the spaces on this bed and onto her heart. Trying to solve the puzzle of Sasuke in there. _

_But isn't this what she really wanted? To be married to Sasuke? If it is really then why is her life so **damn** miserable?_

* * *

_**TBC…**_

**Author's Notes: **

So yeah, don't ask me why I always kill Sakura on my fics but hey. This is gonna be a lil different. Hold onto it.

I did say that it is a SASUSAKU at the summary ne?

Btw for some who might find this fic quite—familiar. Well I did a make-over. I have a fic like this but it's a cardcaptor sakura version. But anyhow. I deleted that story just now since I have no plan to update it. And I don't want to put it into waste so… yada… I made it as a SASUSAKU fic.

And definitely for this one. I'll continue it. The story fits more at them.

So ayt now go gimme reviews. Or else I'll be sad heheh

(review kayo ha.)


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